You continue mopping and wiping each crevasse of your room. Making sure everything looks neat just so you can mess it up again and repeat the whole process. But why? Is it cos it's the only thing you can control in your life; or the sole fact that you know something bad is going to happen and you're trying to keep your mind of it; or just because you can't stand your mom nagging up a storm? Whatever it may be, you suddenly just stop cleaning. It's 2.30am and you've been cleaning since noon. Your room's kinda neat but you need to clean some more. You can't. You shiver and you drop off your study chair; where you sat down arranging the magazines on your desk for the past 10 minutes. Eyes start dampening and you don't know what's wrong with you. You've been sleeping at 4am almost every night and even then, going to bed's a struggle. You're getting sick from the late nights but you can't sleep. Your eye bags build up and you notice how haggard you look in the mirror. You pick yourself up and take a quick shower. You come back to your neat room feeling a little satisfied but the heavy feeling still lingers. Lying down on your bed felt nice that particular night and you had no trouble sleeping which was to much surprise. You know this (easy-to-sleep nights) doesn't happen often and the shivers will stay but you cherish the moment because tomorrow it won't be the same.
Jane.
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