.

Waking up on a day to day basis feeling utter dismay and totally no idea why I continue on is pretty much what sums up my past month. I still feel this way and I have many reasons why. I just can't take it! I see everyone around feeling utterly happy and blissful going on with their lives but I just have no clue why I can't 'enjoy' mine. I know being sad is a decision and not something that you can't change but I don't know why I choose to stay this way. 

Jane.

Solitude (kindly do not find this LOA, I just need to vent)

Putting off my studies for abit because of my dampened spirits. I hate to say it time and time again the longing to feel like I can relate to my peers. It's like I'm on the other side of the window wanting to get in not knowing how to or why I can't get in. Ignorant of my existence. It's pretty much my day to day life. Should've gotten used to it but well I guess I'm too much of an amateur at the whole 'I can be immune to this kinda thing' act. I don't blame them for anything, all I blame is myself for not having the sensibility, the sensibility to judge on my own circumstances. Knowing very well no one ever passes by on here, I am aware that no one will ever see these words. To whoever takes time to digest all that I'm uttering, I thank you very much. I apologise for throwing out more negativity into this space we call the Internet but where else can I vent but here? 

Jane.

PS: I thank those who have known and acknowledged my condition, my feelings and listened to me vomit out all that has accumulated inside of my tiny being. Thank you. (Names are flooding into my head but I will not name them as I'm afraid ill miss someone out)